This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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