does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
