from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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