His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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