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Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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