he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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