I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
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Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad