big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.