My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
