Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.