I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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