dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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