lets start a swedish sibling band together
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
