No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????