If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
