just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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