ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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