I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
