Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
