she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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