just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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