I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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