i jhust puked up my retainher.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize