I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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