OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
