I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
there is glitter all over my balls
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
