Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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