Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
