i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize