hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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