I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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