Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
