but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
