you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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