Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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