I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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