It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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