The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
