i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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