you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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