I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
