why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i believe in u and ur pee
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
