Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
