He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
