The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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