We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
