you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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