That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
