Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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