I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
