I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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