im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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