apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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