Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
