There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
