btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
