My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
