I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
