apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
