weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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