glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
