Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
