Me too!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
