Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
3pm strippers are depressing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
