You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
