erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The Olympian is in my bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
