Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
