my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
