Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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