There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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