I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
