I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
